Words Scrawled On A Cell Wall
Patrick got a lapful of engine on a fall night like this. No one asked the obvious questions. I didn't believe the stories. Too much didn't add up.
Nobody wanted to listen, so I decided to make them. Me and a can of Blaze Orange.
I sprayed "They killed Pat Byrne!" on the station wall, but a cop leaving spotted me. They left me my belt. I don't want to do it, but they'll do worse when they come back.
I wrote this the other day, for a flash fiction contest over at Fictional Musings. I learned of the contest just over two hours before the deadline, and this was the best I could come up with. I'm not entirely happy with it, but it is a story, packed into 80 words, and I kind of like the ambiguous ending. In case you didn't catch the ambiguity, did they leave his belt by mistake, or were they sending him a message? I'll keep my own thoughts to myself...
Nobody wanted to listen, so I decided to make them. Me and a can of Blaze Orange.
I sprayed "They killed Pat Byrne!" on the station wall, but a cop leaving spotted me. They left me my belt. I don't want to do it, but they'll do worse when they come back.
I wrote this the other day, for a flash fiction contest over at Fictional Musings. I learned of the contest just over two hours before the deadline, and this was the best I could come up with. I'm not entirely happy with it, but it is a story, packed into 80 words, and I kind of like the ambiguous ending. In case you didn't catch the ambiguity, did they leave his belt by mistake, or were they sending him a message? I'll keep my own thoughts to myself...
Labels: contests, fiction, flash_fiction
posted by The Wandering Author | Permalink: 12:23 AM
6 Comments:
Sad that strikes me as sad. Well done though;)
The ending makes the story I think.
For eighty words you actually had several layers in this piece which I find amazing.
Good show, WA!
I like it.:-)
I **love** the in medias res quality of this one! WOW!
More, more! have you read the "Story in 55 Words or Less" book?
WA, I love your ending. As you say, ambiguous and it set my find firing off in tons of different directions, looking for some answers.
Reminds me of how Hitchcock would suggest things in his movies and scare you half to death - without really showing anything. Let the reader/viewer do some work. Gets you involved more in the story I think.
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